#005 - Alone? ... Alone.

 Hello everybody! I had just finished watching the 28th and final episode of Haruhi. Honestly, after an entire series full of crazy events, I really think the super-slow pace of the last episode is nice. It has such a laid-back feel to it, that I wish that I could watch it on a dark, rainy day. Here in California, it barely rains though. We had a few days of rain a few weeks ago, so chances are low of it raining here any time soon.

Truth be told, a primary clubroom/meeting room would be nice to claim as my own in the real world. The closest thing I have though is the room used for us college-age small group before the main service on Sunday mornings. And when I say small, I mean four members and one leader. For as much as I like the room we use as it currently stands, I do wish more folks would join. Perhaps another day.

When I am home- I remain in my room at nearly all times. Alone. When the time comes to work on game development or video editing, I do so on my nice computer. Alone. How do I play most of the games that I do? Alone. My current life is based on solitude. Most of the time, people don't distract me. In fact, I have said before that based on a recent experiment, people don't even respond to my conversation starter 35% of the time. Therefore, a lot of the conversations I have throughout the day, I have in my head. Alone.

I do enjoy how things are currently going, though. Working on various projects, streaming, and playing games are how I spend most of my time. I don't know how long it'll last though. Truth be told, it was supposed to end around December 5th though. But I really can't bring myself to pursue an income. I just want to do stuff- I don't want to earn money. I feel no motivation and almost no pressure to just get a job. I reject this reality, and I substitute my own. And I do it alone.

I am not alone though. I have four friends, as of writing this. If I managed to go from three to four in this past year, then there is hope for other people to make it on the list. But due to how high of standards I have for who I call a friend, it is very unlikely. And I can think of three people in the past who almost made it to that point, but then we lost touch. I have no regrets, for I enjoyed all our time spent together anyways. Remember one of the previous posts where I mentioned that someone, in particular, said they like conversing with me? Maybe one day they have a chance as well, but things so are going very slowly. There are other people I frequently or semi-frequently talk to as well. I'm sure that some of them would be willing to give non-tangible support if I were to request it.

Today, I watched some Haruhi, then Method's stream before doing my stream. After lunch (which was eaten during my stream) I played a lot of Bonelab. In the survival arena, I spent over an hour before the game soft-locked. When I checked my score, I was a little bummed to realize that I was only in the 940-something place. Oh well; at least I can now spend a lot of the next gameplay time doing other stuff. Anyway, after Bonelab was finishing up Haruhi and then writing this.

What was the big video I've been editing for the past week? Omniarchive Sings Last Christmas! Yes, myself included. Chances are, y'all aren't going to hear me sing again any time soon. I even recorded it on one of the rare occasions when my mom was out of the house, so even she didn't hear me. I won't be promoting it anywhere, as to limit the number of people who hear me. However, it was fun to edit overall. I think I did well on the visuals. Sheep said that he would edit if nobody else volunteered to do so. I don't know his editing style, but when I heard the original song and had the main background completed, the ideas for each element animation (pun not intended [talking about the Minecraft Element Animations over here]) came to me quickly. Most were a simple fade, so it was easy to put together. The hard part was working with the audio, and timing it to the best of my ability.

Wow, this ended up being longer than anticipated. I just do more thinking about life before bed than at any other time. Milli knows this very well. It is after 21:00 now, which means it is my self-enforced bedtime. I need good sleep to make sure that my brain maintains its high-efficiency processing power. Thank you all for reading. Bye!