#070 - Basket of Fruit (and Also the Night of the 22nd)

 Hello everybody! Yesterday ended late for me because I committed to finishing the Fruits Basket 1st Season and today I hammered through 10 episodes of the 2nd Season. Both days had my usual stream and today I had to drop by the post office to pick up a package of CDs because I didn't answer the door when they first tried to deliver. The songs I specifically wanted were Omna Magni from Aquarion, 0 from Estab-Life, and Friend Shitai from School-Live. Concerning that last entry, I acquired the CD/DVD release for the song. The DVD features the official music video for it and a 15-minute making-of video. Yesterday also involved some more game development and I pushed out another update to WBTA.

Late night on the 22nd, which was Wednesday, I had a really good talk with someone. Person #3, who they were. On a lighthearted note, they said that I seem smarter than everyone else and without a doubt smarter than them. Yeah, I just wanted to get to say this about myself. :3 But on a serious note, they also said that I am mature and they considered me a friend. They even asked if I considered us to be friends. I honestly had to pause and think to myself. With all that we have talked about between our first conversation, to after their attempt, and leading to that point, in a figurative sense could I look them straight in the eye and say that they are not my friend?

As of writing this, I still have four friends. I have had four since February 2, 2022. That was the day Milli became the fourth. Before that, I was at three friends on May 9, 2018. I can't remember when I was at two, but it was sometime between August 2017 and May 2018. Back to the topic at hand, when I asked myself the question this time, it remained a "No, you are not my friend." I really don't know them all that well. As of now, I will not be pouring life details into them.

And that's okay. They understood. They claim that I am kind and generous and help people to get better by just being there for them which is sweet of me. I struggle to accept that because I often think about all the times I am selfish and self-centered. But then I think about the four people who almost ended their life. I prayed that their time would not be up and give thanks that my prayers were answered. I've gotten to know one of them a little bit better and another one even more so. I know things will be okay because one of their closing remarks is that they will be waiting. I will never hold onto the thought of "I will never be friends with them." because I know that one day it just might happen.

They were not the only person I conversed with up until around 23:30. I received a message from someone I know named B. I would've said their full name, but they actually changed their Discord name to B~ so I figured I should use that instead. With that aside, they sometimes shoot me a message in the form of a one-sentence vent about life. Why? I believe they trust me. They have said that they have other friends to talk to, but sometimes they still choose to message me without any forewarning. Very few people said messages to me first unless it's asking for my input on something.

B and I conversed for a bit. As usual, I did my best to provide support and encouragement in the way that I could. Honestly, I don't think I'm that good with words to cheer people up, but I must be doing good enough if other people respond positively to them. I don't have anything in particular to say about our conversation, but I will share that B also considers me a friend. I appreciate the sentiment from them quite a bit but I will also be honest in that there are a fair amount of folks who call me a friend that I do not call a friend back. I am happy to have met B. It started years ago when I first reached out saying that I was available to talk if they needed...

In typing out this post, this is the last paragraph typed out. I already wrote the next two before going on a five-paragraph feelings adventure in talking about the night of the 22nd. Remember how I say that I usually talk a lot about things I really like? I really like that night. I had the opportunity to have a meaningful conversation with two people who call me a friend. And in looking about at several DMs, I had some reminders about Milli and how good of friends we really are. It's getting late, I'm glad I took the time to type this out instead of watching another two episodes of Fruits Basket before bed. I think I'll also send another short paragraph or something to Milli in regard to my gratefulness for her. But first, it's time to finish this post.

Tomorrow seems like a once-in-a-lifetime chance for Omniarchive to be a part of a time capsule of sorts. Truthfully, I probably shouldn't be posting this publicly as it is not public information but I can guarantee that nobody will read this post before tomorrow or your money back. Unless I'm really feeling it, but I'll probably let Fruits Basket sit for a little bit and not watch more until Monday, but we shall see if that happens. If I actually keep on it and don't go at a leisurely pace, I'll be done with everything by Sunday next week at which point I am likely to watch another series on my to-watch list just to get to clear it out some.

Another week or so and I intend on asking my friend out to lunch. A 4-week notice should be enough time to plan something in advance, so long as it does not conflict with anything else. If it works out, then I'm really looking forward to spending time with them and my cousin. Thank you all for reading. Bye!